


The BAD Bitches of Haneoka High

by Taeters



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, But Not Too Seriously, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Swearing, just the girlz causing mayhem not really anything about their bands, kinda OOC, when i looked up comedy for a tag "come swallowing" was the first thing to pop up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:40:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26452003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taeters/pseuds/Taeters
Summary: Tomoe is tall and likes to throw people around.Himari is a sensitive dumbass who cries a lot.Tsugumi secretly has untapped anger issues.Moca is a gremlin who doesn't know when to stop.Ran is on the verge of bashing their heads in.Who thought it would be a good idea to let them form a band?
Relationships: Aoba Moca/Mitake Ran, Udagawa Tomoe/Uehara Himari
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	The BAD Bitches of Haneoka High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: Moca ties a noose, just clarifying that now in case it'll be triggering to any people. Pretty much sums up how this fic will go so watch out if you don't want to read that lol

"Hey. What the fuck is going on here?"

When Ran walked into the CiRCLE lounge that afternoon, she was not expecting to see Himari laying on the ground with Tomoe, Moca, and Tsumugi surrounding her, but I guess this is how this Monday is gonna go. Definitely not the weirdest thing she's seen from them either.

"Hey Ran! We're playing light as a feather, stiff as a board! Come join us, they can't lift me up!" Himari pouted.

"Hii-chan is too heavy to lift with only three people."

"Heyyy, Moca!" Himari wailed. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, but Ran ignored both of them to take attention to the pile of pumpkins and rope in the corner of the room.

"What the fuck is that?"

"Ran sure has been swearing a lot today, huh? What a punk."

"It's Halloween! We brought decorations!" Tsugumi piped in, trying to lift Himari seemingly by herself as nobody else was straining as hard as she was.

"It's September."

"Exactly."

The girls tried one more time to lift Himari up, and when they failed yet again Tomoe loudly grumbled and picked Himari up. Like, just grabbed her with her big ole drummer hands and threw her over her shoulder. "Fuck that game, I can just pick her up like this!"

"SHIT- Tomoe, put me down!"

"Oh? I thought you wanted to be picked up?"

"Nooo, I wanted you to pick me up only with two fingers!"

So Tomoe dropped her. No, not gently placed her on the ground like a lady, but just completely let her go. Her ass smacked the ground with a loud _whoomph_ and the others would've maybe been concerned that she broke her tailbone if not for the fact that Tomoe drops Himari quite often. Himari kinda just started crying until she finally curled in on herself and began sulking.

"I understand the pumpkins, but why the rope?" Ran asked. A mischievous look crossed Moca's face and she ran over to the various piles, grabbing a rope off the top.

"Watch closely, my beloved, you're not gonna want to miss this."

Ran certainly did want to miss it. Moca took the rope and started wrapping it up, looping it through itself and making knots with precision as if done 100 times before. Ran couldn't tell what the hell she was doing and was almost impressed, but the vague hint of admiration she might have held for Moca was quickly destroyed once her rope art started taking shape. She heavily sighed as Moca finished off her demonstration by settling it around her neck, throwing up some lazy jazz hands.

It was a noose. That she tied around her neck.

"How do you know how do do that?" Himari asked, looking up from her fetal position.

"A magician never reveals her secrets, but let's just say I'm always prepared."

"Moca, take that off. Not only is it offensive, but it's dangerous, too. You could get it snagged on something and none of us would help you out because you deserve it for putting it around your neck in the first place."

"Oh come _on_ , Tomoe, don't be a bitch like Ran. It's just Halloween decorations! I'm not- _grk"_

While they were talking, Ran had managed to sneak behind Moca to tug on the end of the rope like a leash. Moca made a weird choking sound, gasping for breath before turning around and sending an uncharacteristicly harsh glare at Ran. This caused Ran to smile for the first time that afternoon, and she loosed the noose around Moca's neck and threw it to the side. "New band rule: no nooses."

"I didn't think this was something that need to be said, but okay." Tomoe was not amused, but nobody ever was by Moca.

"I wanna carve pumpkins!" Himari suddenly shouts, sufficiently healed from her broken ass, and ran over to the pile to grab a nice, round one from the bottom. This caused the structural integrity of the pumpkins to completely crumble, burying Himari as she screamed.

"Have you all forgotten about band practice or am I missing something?" Ran asks as if she wasn't expecting something like this to happen from this bunch.

"Marina asked us to help decorate CiRCLE with fall and Halloween decorations, so that's what we're doing," Tsugumi said, grabbing a pumpkin of her own but not bothering to help Himari. "But only within our allotted time."

Ran gave an indignant sigh, dropping the stuff she came in with because there's really no point in trying to argue against four of her nearly-as-stubborn-as-Ran friends. She grabbed a pumpkin herself, sitting down at the table.

"Uh... can someone help me out?" Himari's muffled voice came from beneath the pumpkins. Moca grabbed a pumpkin of her own but didn't help Himari, leaving Tomoe to wade through pumpkins and help her up.

"Moca, why did you pick that one?" Ran asked, looking at her deformed, bumpy pumpkin barely bigger than the palm of her hand.

"I like it. It's got character."

Tomoe and Himari joined the rest at the table, Himari sporting a couple of bruises and scratches from her tumble(s). Moca pulled some carving knives out of her bag and tossed them to the rest of the girls. Actually tossed them. Tsugumi's knife landed on the table right in front of her, Ran shielded her face with her arms and the handle hit her, the tip of the knife kind of stabbed Himari's leg and she cried for probably the fourth time that day, and Tomoe caught her knife by the handle midair like the fucking god she is.

"Moca, what have we said about knives?" Tomoe asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't throw, toss, drop, run with, fuck, play with, kick, flip, spin, or threaten people with knives under any circumstances ever."

And then they started carving their pumpkins without another word.

* * *

Once they finished their carvings, they decided to rate them totally unbiasedly because that definitely won't cause any troubles.

"Okay Tsugu, tell us what your carving is supposed to be and give a vivid description of it, then we'll all rate it on a scale of one to five," Moca explained the rules of the competition.

"Wait, hold on, it's not done!"

"Then fuckin' uhhh why'd you _tell_ us it's done?"

"Well first of all, I don't appreciate the language, and second of all I just thought of it! We need to put candles in them! That's how you do Jack-O'-Lanterns properly!"

Tomoe narrowed her eyes. "Bitch."

"Okay hey hey, Moca brought some candles so we're all good." She pulled a bag full of little candles out of her bag, and Ran wondered how she was so prepared for the occasion until she remembered it's Moca. She placed a candle in each of the pumpkins and scattered some other pumpkins around the room for some reason. "Anyone got a lighter?"

Ran and Tomoe both instantly reached in their bags which made Moca chuckle. "As I expected, the two cool girls brought lighters. How punk."

"Why did you bring candles and not a lighter?" asked a red-faced Ran as she started lighting the candles around the room. Tomoe did the same.

"To see this beauuutiful moment, my little pyromaniac," Moca purred, pinching Ran on her increasingly reddening cheek. "Alright Tsugu, now that you've got your mediocre little pumpkin lit up then please tell us about it."

"Hey! Don't call it mediocre! It may be simple, but less is more. My pumpkin represents the simplicity of Halloween and-"

" _Mediocre_ ," Tomoe said through a fit of coughs, which Himari laughed a bit too hard at considering it was literally just a repackaged version of what Moca said.

"Okay fine whatever I don't give a shit, what are your ratings?"

"That language is not so Tsugurific, Tsugu. One out of five for language and lack of originality."

Tsugumi crossed her arms.

"Um... sorry Tsugumi, I like it but... two," Himari sheepishly said.

" _If you like it then you'd rate it higher_ ," Tsugumi whispered, but no one really heard it.

"I give it a three, good job," said Ran. Tsugumi smiled just a bit, until-

"A one. Haha."

"Lmao."

"Did you just say "lmao" out loud?" Ran gave Moca a weird look.

"Yeah."

Then Tsumugi just started screeching, reaching out for Moca to kick her shit in, and in a weird move Ran just kind of swooped Moca into her arms. This led Tsugumi to dive face-first onto the ground, Moca to lean into Ran and whisper "hey, sexy," and Ran to push Moca to the floor on top of Tsugumi.

"Hey uh, not to alert anyone," Tomoe said with a mouthful of pumpkin innards. No, not just the seeds, but full on pumpkin guts which kind of disturbed Ran and Himari. "But some of the candles got knocked over and now the wall is on fire."

A beat of silence passed through the room. Their eyes all fixed on the part of the wall that was currently engulfed in flames and spreading up. The calm before the storm didn't last long, when Himari started screaming and running around, then Ran started screaming, Tsumugi stayed face down on the floor but her muffled screams could be heard, and Moca sat down with Tomoe and they munched on some pumpkin innards. Moca took the time to at least show Tomoe her pumpkin, claiming that it's "Ran doing an ahegao face," but it was really more of just a giant hole in a pumpkin.

The chaos lasted all of one minute before the door to the lounge opened. Yukina and Lisa and walked in, looking upon the scene with way less panic than they should've. Yukina gave the bustling fire a once over, not even looking twice before saying "what are you still doing here?"

Ran, who was in the middle of throwing pumpkin guts at the fire because she thought that would help for some reason, completely stopped and looked at the members of Roselia. She dropped the guts in her hand onto Moca's lap- who barely noticed or cared -and her face turned stone cold. "What's it to you?"

"Your time here ended about five minutes ago, and we need to practice. Hurry it up."

So the two turned away, Lisa sparing a second glance at the fire, then turning back to follow Yukina again like the little simp she is.

Ran just collapsed to the floor, grabbed another heap of pumpkin guts (like seriously where the fuck is this stuff coming from?) and threw it at the back of Tsugumi's head. She yelped, but otherwise was still a fucking corpse. "What a bitch."

"You? I know," Moca giggled, to which Ran took the whole bowl of guts and dumped it on her.

Himari was still in the corner half-crying half-screaming.

Eventually, Lisa came back in with a bowl of water and (sort of) saved the lounge from being burned to the ground. They covered up the burns by hanging up a Roselia and Afterglow poster.


End file.
